2014 LS election is on. The whole nation is gearing up for the mega event for months. After all, we are the biggest democracy on the planet. The media is busy setting up the stage for war mongering and all political parties are lining up to hog it. Na-Mo vs Ra-Ga fight, spiced up by Mamata, AAP and other smaller outfits - we are all engaged. It's a symbol of national integration when everyone is focusing on the same event... like cricket. There are manifesto declarations, assurances, promises and begging for votes all around. If that sounds dry, add the daily dose of tadka by sarcastic and at times foul mix of blame game, mudslinging and "I am the best" slogans, religious or communal polarizations, a great deal of acrobatics, horse trading and newer jargons to call the same old things. We are at our best as campaigners... it's in us. Media and the mass know about the noise rituals and election rhetoric - but can't ignore it. The media terms all the election driven histrionics by political parties as dance of democracy. Dutiful as they always are, they turn it into a reality show, occupy the judges' chairs and spread the fake comments around. Then comes Science... in the form of Statistics. Poll predictions take center-stage. Graphs, Pie-charts, histograms, percentage swings, regional distributions... Science as puppets in the hands of TRP-technology and its presenters. Think about a scene... party A announces a manifesto and its rival party B applauds it! It's impossible... party B will call the press and rip it into pieces. The exception can only happen, when there is a conditional support or alliance proposal. Pre-poll alliance is less colorful than post-poll ones. They find "common minimum agenda" or "secular partnership" or form some "front".... for some bigger cause. There is no true friendship, and no genuine enmity; except a few arch-rivals or sister-concern companies. I mean, do whatever keeps you in business. Did I say "business"... well, let me tone it down by saying "business of serving people". Stay in news. Public memory is painfully short-lived; refresh it everyday by belting out 'activities' - don't take chances by keeping mum just before the election.
What do we want to see in our leaders? It's not an easy question. It varies from time to time, place to place, man to man, maybe season to season. I'm trying to walk a tightrope to find what on average, a common man wants.
We want them to be smart... India is no home for dumbs! They should be interesting orators and know how to dodge uneasy questions. They should carry a lot of data to attack the opponents - the best form of political defense. They should preferably be clean - at least maintain a corruption-free or less-corrupt image... poorer the better. However there is no negative marking for being wealthy. Basically we are neutral on their money. Education is another neutral qualification. They should assure reduction in prices of everything; uproot all sorts of taxes; try to provide as many services as possible free of cost... be it roads, hospitals, education, employment or oil. They should live, sleep, eat, die India... 24x7. They must be pious with faith on preferably all or some religions.. or at least one major religion and the affection to god(s) or similar spirits should be publicly demonstrated. Atheists are born offenders to human civilization and hence, can't be trusted to run a democratic set-up.
Here comes the twists.They are supposed to spend for development of infrastructure, create more jobs, build all public amenity centers - but cannot generate revenue from us in the form of taxes. If I know someone or a few of them directly or even indirectly, I should get preferential treatment and services utilizing my private channel; be it allocation of a land or flat or admission in college. I should be able to buy things I want in my budget. I want the wealth of the wealthier to be distributed among humanity keeping the hierarchy up to me intact. I prefer to stay at the top. They are servants of this great nation, we aren't... we are consumers of its resources. We appraise their performance through voting system. But we are sacrosanct. Nation building is their job. We rate them, make and break their life and send our kids to the promised land for better education, job opportunity or lifestyle. I hate corruption but my local councilor gets me anything I don't deserve.
So lotus, palm, broom, and a million others - all are zindabad. We deserve you guys. Keep winning my heart, developing parks for my child with fountains at the middle, inaugurating new project stones, tarring my approach road, removing poverty, and above all, cleansing corruption. We will play the game together. The theory of probability shines - we hold our breath to watch the results unfold, just like my daughter anxiously track the roll of a die. Humara neta kaisa ho? Bilkool mere jaisa ho.
A few interesting myths built in the air:
1. Congress ruined the country - Because we have chosen them for the maximum number of times.
2. This UPA-2 government is a corruption-making machinery - Must be joking!
3. Manmohan Singh is a weak prime minister - Can we employ Mike Tyson?
4. It's time for Modi-fication - Why not? But what exactly that gentleman would do to modify? How?
5. Gujarat will show India the way to development - Great! And what does that mean? Was India blind so far?
6. "Stuck between a moron and a murderer" - There is no punishment in Indian Penal Code for being famous. Bio-diversity is welcome!
What do we want to see in our leaders? It's not an easy question. It varies from time to time, place to place, man to man, maybe season to season. I'm trying to walk a tightrope to find what on average, a common man wants.
We want them to be smart... India is no home for dumbs! They should be interesting orators and know how to dodge uneasy questions. They should carry a lot of data to attack the opponents - the best form of political defense. They should preferably be clean - at least maintain a corruption-free or less-corrupt image... poorer the better. However there is no negative marking for being wealthy. Basically we are neutral on their money. Education is another neutral qualification. They should assure reduction in prices of everything; uproot all sorts of taxes; try to provide as many services as possible free of cost... be it roads, hospitals, education, employment or oil. They should live, sleep, eat, die India... 24x7. They must be pious with faith on preferably all or some religions.. or at least one major religion and the affection to god(s) or similar spirits should be publicly demonstrated. Atheists are born offenders to human civilization and hence, can't be trusted to run a democratic set-up.
Here comes the twists.They are supposed to spend for development of infrastructure, create more jobs, build all public amenity centers - but cannot generate revenue from us in the form of taxes. If I know someone or a few of them directly or even indirectly, I should get preferential treatment and services utilizing my private channel; be it allocation of a land or flat or admission in college. I should be able to buy things I want in my budget. I want the wealth of the wealthier to be distributed among humanity keeping the hierarchy up to me intact. I prefer to stay at the top. They are servants of this great nation, we aren't... we are consumers of its resources. We appraise their performance through voting system. But we are sacrosanct. Nation building is their job. We rate them, make and break their life and send our kids to the promised land for better education, job opportunity or lifestyle. I hate corruption but my local councilor gets me anything I don't deserve.
So lotus, palm, broom, and a million others - all are zindabad. We deserve you guys. Keep winning my heart, developing parks for my child with fountains at the middle, inaugurating new project stones, tarring my approach road, removing poverty, and above all, cleansing corruption. We will play the game together. The theory of probability shines - we hold our breath to watch the results unfold, just like my daughter anxiously track the roll of a die. Humara neta kaisa ho? Bilkool mere jaisa ho.
A few interesting myths built in the air:
1. Congress ruined the country - Because we have chosen them for the maximum number of times.
2. This UPA-2 government is a corruption-making machinery - Must be joking!
3. Manmohan Singh is a weak prime minister - Can we employ Mike Tyson?
4. It's time for Modi-fication - Why not? But what exactly that gentleman would do to modify? How?
5. Gujarat will show India the way to development - Great! And what does that mean? Was India blind so far?
6. "Stuck between a moron and a murderer" - There is no punishment in Indian Penal Code for being famous. Bio-diversity is welcome!